#MYSTORY

These are the very real and personal stories of first responders who have struggled with PTSD and the stigma that surrounds it. They have taken a brave step in sharing their experiences with others, in hopes of helping someone through the tunnel to the light.

Tim’s Story

Tim is a retired police officer with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) and this is his story… The Mountie & My Mind It was October 23rd, 2006, at the age of 26 years old, I just graduated from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Cadet training program as a member of a First Nations Police Service. My first posting was with the North Peace Tribal Police Service where I did six months side by side with the RCMP. Our uniforms were black with a red stripe down the sides of our pants, they were like the Edmonton Police Service. That year I was stationed in an isolated and remote post in Northern Alberta. One of the communities that I policed was only accessible by plane, barge, or winter road. In August 2009, did a lateral transfer into the RCMP. That is when the RCMP absorbed my…

David’s Story

David is a former Military Veteran and this is his story… On December 24th 2021 around the hours 1220 am I was alone, drunk and depressed and attempted to end my life. But I survived  I put my Glock 17 up against my jaw and said “fuck it!”  But before I squeezed the trigger I heard a voice. It kinda scared me at first but I trusted it and it said “Change the angle.”  I did what I was told, angled the barrel forward a touch, closed my eyes and squeezed the trigger. 💥 Bang!💥  I saw a flash behind my eyes and felt a hard impact on my forehead.  I immediately regretted what I had done I dropped the gun and I fell to the floor. I began to bleed out profusely. I knew I was in trouble. Luckily I noticed I had my cell in my left hand still and dialled…

Jenny Ralph

Jenny Ralph is a retired Advanced Paramedic with Peel Regional Paramedic Services and this is her story… Well, here goes nothing…I have a workplace injury. Turns out that 22 years of working long hours of shift work and bearing the heavy weight of human suffering can hurt a person. On the outside, I don’t walk with a limp and I don’t wince in pain clutching my back when I bend over to pick something up off the floor. I don’t have aching joints or broken bones. When we talk, I’ll smile, I’ll even laugh. I’m an excellent listener. You can look long and hard into my eyes, but you won’t see where I’m hurt.  Made a choice to protect the ones I love For 22 years, I have made a choice to protect the ones I love in my life from what my eyes have seen. I have buried the screams, pushed asid…

Mark’s Story

Mark is a former police officer with the RCMP and Halifax Regional Police Service and this is his story… THE BENCH July 7, 2017. That’s the date I sat on this bench in the yard of my children’s school, and made the decision that I was going to take my life.  I had been a police officer since 2002. I have always been a type A personality, and someone who succeeded at anything I tried. I always thought that if I worked hard enough and dedicated myself to what I wanted in life; I could accomplish anything. Nothing could stop me, nothing stood in my way, and I woke up every day with a mission to get what I wanted, because that’s all I knew. Shortly after the birth of my first child things began to change. I started to withdraw from family, friends, co-workers, and anything else that brou…

Erich’s Story

Erich is currently an active police officer with the RCMP and former Military Veteran this is his story… First off, I’d like to talk about the attached image that was created by my amazing wife. My hope is, that just by viewing this image, you have grasped the essence of what she has captured, and that being the raw emotions that come with living with PTSD, not just for the one carrying it within, but for the loved ones who see the pain and suffering on a daily basis. When I speak of PTSD, I am encompassing all that comes with it for me. The depression, anger, internal pain, constant anxiety, hyper vigilance, mood swings, the frustrations for feeling this way and the inability to control it some days.  On top of that there are physical manifestations from PTSD as well, digestive issu…

Derek’s Story

Derek is currently an active police officer with York Regional Police Service and this is his story… Cop shows are great, aren’t they? filled with car chases, shoot outs, heroic fights and fancy medals and awards.  Then they go out have a couple drinks and do it all again the next day, as if a small part of hell was not just brought upon them the day before.  They seem stressed but quickly turn it off like nothing happened.  I think to myself, why can’t I do that? I started my career in 2015, It had taken me 7 years of applications, interviews, testing, volunteering and rejection.  I had almost given up my goal of becoming a police officer when I received a call from our recruiting unit asking if I wanted to re-apply.  I hesitated for a moment before agreein…

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